thought so. i woke up and he was playing with my eyeliner. I MAKE GREAT CHOICES.
alone in the kitchen at 4 am eating a hotdog.
Maybe if i eat something filling like whole wheat pasta it will make me less hungry for things like dick
YOU CAN MICROWAVE POPTARTS!?!??!
How do you wash franks red hot sauce, whip cream, grapejuice and shame out of silk?
I would just throw it away. You cant just wash out shame, it has to soak for like a month.
ya i looked horrible drunk and pregnant isn't a good combination
He threw a goldfish cracker into my toilet and then proceeded to laugh for 32 minutes. I timed it.
You know... If I put the same amount of effort into school as I put into giving women orgasms I would be a Rhodes scholar
Had a couple pieces of pizza for breakfast...suck on that Jamie Oliver.
This is even worse then that time I fucked a guy just because he had air conditioning.
My three rules on what I'm wearing tonight. Something short, something see through, and something i had sex in.
I got eye-fucked by an 80 year old man wearing a cowboy hat while I was singing country. How do you think karaoke went?
dude, I felt like being high in a Santa hat and eating five boxes of cookies was right for today.
Just heard a 15 minute program on the radio about how cases of gonorrhea in the throat and rectum are skyrocketing in the US. Almost crashed laughing so hard.
Sorry, who is this??
Thought for a game. Duck, Duck, Grey Goose. If you're tapped, you take a shot. Then proceed as normal.
Randomize
