you don't remember? you called me at 330 crying because you were in the middle of having sex with corey and forgot his name. all you kept saying was i'm a drunk bitch.
It's not just about fucking anymore... We decided we're actually in like now..
Ryan just walked out of his frat house with a case of beer, a 6 dollar bottle of vodka, and a pillow. He's good to go.
Evidently I told a girl she should leave the bar because no one wanted to fuck her.
i turned my shower on this morning and passionfruit pulp came out. how did you even do that?
Sometimes things go your way and sometimes you get hit on by a fat drunk girl.
My legs have surpassed "hairy" and entered the territory of "furry". Maybe I should just suck it up and shave already
No now I'm curious!
I'm hoping my engineering degree will pay off when I invent porn watching in the shower
I peed my pants and am still dancing with guys at the club because I liked my outfit too much to change. Call the ratchet emergency
And thanks! There are perks to polyamory. And birthday orgies are one of them
I think I just figured out how to make weed tea in the coffeemaker.
I can't go to the bars anymore. She wanted to see me again and I drunkenly told her I was moving today. If she spots me I'm fucked.
My god imagine how much cum is in that astroturf
My feet surprised me
i think you might have coined the term "slightly awkward pyromania"
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