Kelly went into her room with Dave, but is moaning Tommy...
Tonight must have been good, I have already had two cups of coffee but still couldn't figure out how to operate a door.
the amount of blow i got, New years should last a week.
just learned how to wash a penis. thank you nursing school for getting me the most action i've had in months.
You kept excitedly announcing to the bar what time it was. Followed by an equally excited "Clock language still makes sense!"
My head weighs 7 pounds. i know this because i spent the majority of the night passed out in the bathroom, using the scale as a pillow.
just lying in bed drinking beer with a straw waiting for motivation. why?
I think if wine wasn't a thing I'd give up on life.
that's the second time I've made out with him and woken up with my pants stuffed with PBRs I am convinced he's magic
like are we talking 'quick beer' bad or 'break out the real vodka' bad
yyyea i think im gonna go get a bowl and play skyrim. And by bowl i mean something i can throw up in, not weed
Also, being stuck with my family all week has made it very clear that I need to be drunk and I need to be fucked pronto
See, this is why we give you shit. Ashley gets her car cleaned out, I get multiple enchiladas made, and you get cum in your eye.
DESTROY DICK DECEMBER\nTHE SUN SHINES ON THE THIRSTY
No offense, but I don’t think I would want to see him in anything skimpier than a hazmat suit.
Randomize
