Do you feel like you missed out a little from not getting crabs in college?
well yea, now i know i won't get hair in my teeth...
giving yourself 2 days to recover i see
I'll need it. Largely because i'm going to be stumbling through fancy restaurants with a bottle of whiskey insulting couples all night.
I hate it when she philosophizes drunkenly on my kitchen counter. not even sober do i understand latin.
The family from the blindsided came and talked to us last night. The dad owns 68 taco bells. You would have been so inspired
I'm trying on my bridesmaid dress so that I can determine what will need to be done to achieve getting fucked while wearing it.
He was visibly upset that you'd rather eat nachos than have sex with him.
I'm okay with corrupting his young mind.
Ew! He's just a child!
AND I'M GONNA SHOW HIM HOW TO MAKE ONE.
You were running around drunk in a Toga chasing the frat's Husky. Of course they remember you.
we went from five shot glasses to three in one night. we lost 'badass' and gumbi, but the ninja turtle survived. courtney says to avoid any more casualties we're not allowed to use shot glasses past 1am. and we're not allowed to throw them
This gem of a conversation has been brought to you be weed
He sent me a blank text message. That's a booty call waiting to happen
I don't know how that blunt survived being in your pocket all night but you pulled it out at 4 am in 7/11 and tried to fire it up. Zero fucks given
After a crazy night, morning sex is just trying to find a position where you can thrust without getting seasick.
YAS. BRING CRAB.
Randomize
