Highlight of my evening, pile of books falling onto me in front of people
SLUTTIEST. 4TH. EVER.
Just got a blowjob in her closet with two people sleeping outside in the room. I feel like the emperor of college.
If I had to give her an idea on what it means to be ur date I would compare it to being Ralph macchio's gf in the first karate kid... That's one of the coolest things I've ever said... I love drugs.
She's laying here with her head in my lap stoned, eating Doritos, whining about her boyfriend, and listening to Cher. Fuck the friend zone.
well I already know I'm going to hell, at this point it's really go big or go home
The number of males in the usa getting circumsized are decreasing. Keep this in mind when we become cougars
I'm pretty sure your ex of four years just had a baby with some kid and named it after you...
I'm just trying to find the strength to put my bra back on and come inside
Just responding to the most professional request I've ever gotten to get shitfaced.
It's a little hazey but I think I tried to request Nelly last night. There was no dj. Not sure who I was talking to
Everyone in Columbus is two degrees of separation from my vagina.
It wasn't intentional or anything but I've now had sex with all of your siblings. How's college going?
how is it I left wearing underwear then ended up with none? and why is it they are on you?
just used my $120 dollar stats book for the first time to kill an ant... good thing i stole it
Randomize
