It's a miracle Ok Typing texts toYou right now
I looooooove Saturdays!!!!!!!
I am absolutely hammered
yo i have your phone
... oh so you probably won't get this message
I kinda look like a classier blonde kenny powers.
I don't think requesting him as a BBM contact is proper protocol following vomming in his bed.
I just saw her punch a kid in the face.. i always knew she was the girl for me.
How does one fall all the way up a flight of stairs? Its hard on me knowing that the survival of our species depends on me not reproducing.
Some are given great drunkenness. Others have great drunkenness thrust upon them, in the form of ice storms.
Talking to friends parents while buying all the things needed for Jell-O shots. classic
We dug deep emotionally while eating cereal
No more weed for you
Sex and sushi don't even sound good right now... I might be on my death bed. To my Liz, I leave my extensive movie collection and my drinking supplies. To Olive I leave my car. Cause every Scottish terrier needs a 2010 Camaro.
I haven't been that free with the boobs since I was 19. I'm putting them away for a while.
If you insist
The one guy literally flopped my boob out. Yes I insist.
I have a bandage in my ass crack. In. My. Ass. Crack.
Well the good news of being walked in on, my mom says your tits are pretty. Then she added that hers were like that once. Fml
i am also 80% sure that my shirt glows in the dark.
I'm a delicate orchid of a man.
Blossoming into a fierce dragon.
Randomize
