Do you think there's anyone left in this world that hasn't masturbated in a computer chair?
I want to do you till i cant cum anymore. Till all i get is a little flag that says "bang".
I have "you made mistakes last night" written alllll over me.
Does my status still say I suck cocks? I don't know how to change it
I'm sorry I kept calling last night when you wouldn't pick up. I'm REALLY sorry I sang "You Oughta Know" on more than 4 voice mails.
He went bowling in his bathroom.. And shattered the toilet.
Haha I will however wear glass and and draw a lightning bolt scar if you want to have sex that way, and that can be the only time you can call me Harry.
I can pinpoint my loss of innocence as the moment I started masturbating with my teddy bears
We found you facedown on his couch in a pile of cheerios, with only one shoe on. Dude you said you were staying in last night.
We got a standing ovation as security was escorting us out of the ballpark, it was a proud moment
God dammit. My lube leaked all over my passport
Mark my words I will never date another cop again. I don't care if he's JESUS.
sexting while watching Peter Pan the Musical! something just doesn't seem right here
I think I was just hit on by Jesus Christ. This is not okay. Bad Touch. I NEED AN ADULT!
Calm the hell down, it's just stoner Bob.
He met a girl at a stop light and managed to give her his number while driving down the highway.
Randomize