just saw a prosititute with a baby stroller...question is...if the baby wakes up is the blow job free?
Multitasking record: pooping whilst putting on shoes and cleaning ear with q-tip. All while texting.
Update: fell off toilet, one shoe on, q-tip still in ear. Not a pro.
You realize it's finals week?
Ya that's the school's fault. St. Patrick's day came first.
I got a Luke Skywalker costume so I can go do battle with the homeless guy who plays the fiddle dressed as Darth Vader downtown.
Not enough clothes on. Not enough vagina. Not enough drugs in my body.
On campus. Grown men in women's sexy bee costumes. Complete with legwarmers. This cannot be real life.
I'm just going to lay in a blanket cocoon of self pity for the next few months.
It was great. They teamed up to hit on these two frat boys all night, until the frat boys started making out with each other. The looks on their faces...
The boys wrestled in the living room for the last condom while the girls chanted, "THE LAST MELON."
Dude just the look on his face when she sat down next to him, threw one leg over his, and just said "so..." was fucking amazing
he's dressing as a chick for halloween. of course i'm gonna make him get his legs professionally waxed. how is this even a question?
day drinking caused me to be in bed at a decent time. can't complain.
pesky things like morals, self-preservation and cowardice are not needed. overkill is nothing but a word. there will be blood.
Get here now. There’s a guy dressed as Captain Morgan handing out miniature bottles of Captain Morgan.
I'm literally watching a webcam of the Vegas strip right now and it is making me sad.
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