is it bad that i think of my life in terms of the sims? like when i'm hitting it off with someone, i really wish a plus sign would appear above my head. and when i throw up from drinking way too much, a minus sign.
so i realized that everyone figured out i was a slut before i did. then i realized that no one felt like telling me. sometimes i think you just keep me around for entertainment.
you're right.
Do vagina's smell?
Going to Kmart high is like jumping in a time machine back to the 80s
I may or may not have puked in my RA's suggestion box.
there's chicken and sequins in our bathroom sink. part of me almost wants to know what happened
I think the best part was when you jumped over me naked.
He kept coming back from the bar with hotter girls and just left with two...I feel like I just witnessed something amaZing. Like meeting Jesus and finding out he has no morals either
What are you doing? Did I punch you in the face last night?
You were outside the bathroom the gay guy was puking in, screaming "IT GETS BETTER!" over and over again. Good message, poor execution.
He's so drunk he thinks he's the ultimate warrior. Told cops he was from parts unknown. Never broke character
Planning a foam party. Swimsuits are mandatory, and please no granny suits. If you wear a granny suit I will stick you in the corner and put a cone hat on your head.
"She's seriously grinding on him while whispering into his ear, 'take me to McDonald's.'"
Fair warning: I will be throwing corn dogs at you every time I see you this week.
His chest is so hairy i want to pet it with my nipples.
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