I just saw him at the bookstore and all I could think about was him licking your ass
just skyped with my friend to listen in on the people talking shit about me in the library. creepy or strategic?
i signed up to donate 10 dollars a month to help the children that are being displaced in columbia because of the drug wars.. i felt obligated
still wasted. at home depot . just threw up in one of the demo showers. not okay.
Is it weird being in the house without any roommates?
Nah, just masturbating louder
You said "i miss him" not "i miss his dick." You're getting emotionally attatched. Shame.
Don't blame me for eating all the ham.. I gave it out to people, so at most I'm guilty of ham distribution
New plan for Halloween: you dress as Waldo, I'll dress as Carmen San Diego. We can just hide in a closet drinking till someone finds us.
i feel like there is just so much pressure to sex him up, its like the weight of the world is on my vagina.
Found my bike today. On top of the garage. I'm not even going to ask myself why.
I met his dad. Turns out he was a one nighter from the nurses conference in Vegas. Not sure how to handle this one.
Clearly, you already have. Both of them.
i may or may not be making depth charges with cough syrup. i'll call you if i survive.
I know you just got dumped by your gf but believe there is still good in the world. I just smoked a joint and took a fucking unbelievable poop. Give me a call tomorrow.
It's the third day of class and I got told I smell like a distillery.
Remember how we use to say "this will be the year I'll get my shit together!" And like we stopped doing that because we know that isn't happening anytime soon.
Randomize
