Instead of having sex, we spent the entire night making pillow forts and have sword fights. I think I'm in love
All she gave me for breakfast was raw toast. How can she expect me to eat raw toast?
You mean bread?
You brought out the iron board layed it on the ground in the middle of everyone and passed out for the night
What part of I'm done do you not understand? Im not going to send you sex photos to prove I've moved on..
BTW waking up to a picture of you taking a shot of what I can only assume was shitty lukewarm liquor out of a blow up dolls butt made my day
Nope. He totaled my car then moved back to Louisiana to work things out with baby mama. I sure know how to pick em
Nothing is worse than post drunken playoff baseball loss sex
Watch out, there's a giant vagina in the quad running around screaming at people.
He used Kanye West lyrics to justify what happened and I accepted his logic
I fucked my ex boyfriend to get shrooms for you guys
That's the sweetest thing I've ever heard
Btw, I feel the need to make sure we have no misunderstanding about this. So here goes. I'll happily mess around with you again. However, I probably won't do it while you're dressed like a creepy clown. Or any clown.
Drunk me commented on almost all of her pictures. My favorite one is titled "be as the sea". My comment is "cold, rough, large and letting anyone come inside you. you accomplished." Guessing I'm not invited to the party anymore.
It feels appropriate that the wallet of my high school and college years would die at the hands of a spilled bong. Which in and of itself is a solid metaphor for those years.
For someone who claims to be straight, she knows a hell of a lot about bi erasure, and one Hayley Kiyoko song too many
Long story short I ended up getting choked out by a really hot guy in the girls bathroom at a bar last night
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