don't worry, i have a range rover and a brother hopped up on steroids.. we can solve this little misunderstanding quite easily.
I'm on a mission to free the leash kids. Like liberating the Israelites from Egypt. Only better.
Is it awkward to ask someone I've slept with to officiate my wedding?
I threw away my jacket instead of washing it, the jungle juice stained me more of shame than red food coloring... i have never been that white girl wasted before...
That stripper was not happy when I tried putting a dollar in her court mandated ankle bracket/tracking device
Am I over stepping my bounds if I ask to fuck in your new bathroom?
It has heated floors
I just got breakfast in bed and he went down on me. And you though he was a bad idea. Shame
He's only done it missionary. His world is about to be rocked. Do you know what I look like from behind?
I want to show up to tomorrow's study group looking like I got hit by a train. A train made of dicks.
in the midst of studying i picked up my capsule full of untouched weed, popped it open, and whispered "soon" into it. midterms man
Ims textiofg thsi woht my noes bcuz my hansd aer stli handcuffde to teh bedfrme. Help me
I think he's an actor
That's not a good enough reason to wear guy-liner
Im going to hell I gave him a handjob on the plane next, to an old guy playing video games on his iPad, on good friday.
just played fuck the dealer and thunderstruck with my physics ta. he is the third ta that i have drank with this semester, i think i'm getting good at college
For future reference: bathtub full of cheeseburgers = win.
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