Charged a drink to your name last night. Thanks for the whiskey
the fundamentals of my vasectemy are strong
You ruined his night from a different state? Impressive.
I don't know what you're talking about but its dick galore in the tub. We will be getting poked tonight. Bring forks.
she left with her roommate. or at least i think she did. but i also just thought i ate candy corn but i'm hal convinced it was candle wax.
On a scale of your daily life to smuggling crack into the DR, how illegal is it?
Tequila me may have very bluntly told him that I wanted to touch his abs.
He smells so good today
Seriously, back away from the sexual harrasment suit.
It was dark, she woke me up, gave me a blowjob and then whispered in my ear: do you know who I am?
I woke up to her screaming at the various pictures of nutsacks she found on her camera
Metaphysical thesis on the illusion of self+ 2 day adderal binge = the walls of reality are crumbling
Happy Halloween!! Last Halloween we spent together you got brought home in a shopping cart
I just masturbated in the tanning bed stoned. Best decision of my life
I am going to constantly be reminded of you for the next couple of days because of how sore my vagina is. It's just the price I have to pay.
He was gone when I woke up. But he left skid marks on my sheets and our unopened bottle of Titos is missing
New Rule: No more sleepovers with guys we met on Reddit
Randomize
