May have just accidentally purchased an iphone on Kate's credit card. This has potential to be bad.
hey im gonna send you a picture of my dinner
if its a picture of your dick again we are no longer friends
They called security on the security guard who tried to break up the party in their suite. You tell me how drunk they were.
Everything was good until you pulled the bartenders hair because she cut you off
woke up with the dennys waiters MYSPACE link on the back of my receipt...yep one of those nights
Just used my boobs as a ramp to guide ramen into my mouth.
She fell asleep with me.... We found her pantsless in the dogbed in the morning... Russian foreign exchange students
No. Cease was criminally insane from birthday shots, and not a lot of women want to go home from the bar with a guy who wants to "snuggle but keep it strictly professional".
I think I collapsed a disk in my spine when I drunkenly lifted that fat girl on my shoulders to chicken fight at the pool.
How many people slept in the bouncy castle last night?
4 guys, 1 girl. Pretty sure were gonna have to pay the cleaning fee
Good news: I actually puked in my bathroom, the vomit from the living room was actually from someone else.
That's horrible but hilarious
I'm going to miss college.
Today's goal is to get out of bed, before I take a shit. This might be hard
Pass or fail tho
also. got fucked to usher last night. dunno if thats a new high or a new low
Was it at least a good usher song?
You sat on me. Like I was a toilet. While I was on the toilet. You peed a little.
As he put it in he shouted "geronimo!"
Wow... So was the sex good?
Yeah but it doesn't matter. My vagina is not a pool.
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