He's not gay. He just has bad gaydar and he gaydared himself and was wrong.
found a dugout with weed in it in dad's car. decided to top up the weed compartment with salvia. for fun.
I didn't know it was possible to make picking up dog shit look sexy.
She did the bend and snap...
you know it's bad when you need sunglasses to open the refrigerator
Woke up with two cats staring at me. One covered in puke thats giving me a look that says it might be my fault. Where am I? Come get me.
you almost dropped the shot glass then you thought you were such a hard ass for catching it that you slammed it on the table and broke it
we didn't have anything to do and wanted to get our money's worth out of our costumes, so if you see two mermaids day drinking by the creek it's us
I need a Xanax. A Veggie Delight. And exhibition style sex.
Your message cut off at "shit on the floor". Your life is incredible.
We need more drag queens in our life I've decided
hurry up this bar wont let me order big pitchers of beer for just myself
I want my birthday to be like the hunger games where all the contenders for my vaj have to fight each other off to win the prize
Can I have the second place winner?
Last nights hook up turn into a star wars history lesson.. He's luck y he's pretty..
My husband was abducted by a group of disco dancers in the parde and danced off down the street. If you see him, tell him to Hustle on home and clean the cat box. #MardiGras
So adding to the list of things my boobs can do, sweeping with a broom is apparently a thing.
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