Pretty people don't get stds, I knew it
my boyfriend just said he'd go down on me if I gave him my password to facebook
Theres this tee in the mall and it says all girls just wanna have safe sex. U make me think thats a lie
nothing makes up for a small, perpetually flaccid penis quite like a British accent
the toilet has never flushed louder then when you sneak home drunk and try to avoid your parents hearing you puke.
the Monday before Thanksgiving is not a Monday at all. Just Thursday in Monday suit.
His little brother walked in on us. Six times.
It's been 5 months since I last wore a condom.
Not including when spray tanning
Is this girl REALLY making a smoothie in the bathroom right now?
he calls himself the gay cupid because he matches two guys looking to hookup on craigstlist with each other. get me out of here. please.
I think this is the rare instance where the babysitter should get sex as payment from the person being babysat plus you'll get birthday sex. It's a win-win.
I just want to buy drugs without having to pay an arm and a leg for it. Is that a horrible thing to ask for?
I mean, it's not like you can exactly complain to the manager and higher ups about it.
After she got off the phone with her mom she sprinted down the block screaming "I'M SO GOOD AT BEING A HUMAN!!!!!!!!!!!!!"
I'm sitting here drinking whisky and listening to The Wiggles, I don't need a social life
I resent the implication of a jizz addiction
Randomize
