She stuck a Big Gulp bend-y straw up his ass to see if he could handle anal.
Ew, and?!
Well he couldn't and the deal was he had to drink something using it afterwards.
I took a picture of his ID so i could remember how to spell his last name and facebook stalk him later...I think he saw me do it
I wish there was a classy way to show off your boobs.
So I just told the bartender I would go down on her. You need to get here
Recycling my beer bottles from breakfast counts for earth day, right?
Dude, did you really "knight me" and tell me I had permission to bang your sister last night?
But really- as the voice of your vagina I am BEGGING you to do it. If not for yourself than for your poor innocent puss
If I die tonight, I want you to have the rest of my nachos. And my porn collection.
You meet the best people naked in a hot tub at 2 am.
I'm convinced he's the patron saint of oral sex
You know you had a good night when you wake up cuddling a baseball bat and a can of chicken noodle soup.
You cried for a while then lifted lots of weights then cady's ex put glitter on your tits and then you took a nap. I got you pizza and brought you home. Nothing too exciting.
You showed up at my house at 4am with a bloody nose, one shoe and a bucket of chicken... I live no where near a place that sells chicken in a bucket..
Well that would explain the bones in my purse.
I was afraid I was gonna get a URI, so I peed on his front porch.
drunkkkkk be here I heart you
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