Soap is not a condiment
Plan A DEFINITELY worked... Go with me to get Plan B??
This bar is like a mediocre whore house....but free
She transformed our coors light pitcher we stole from the bar into a fruit basket...
I just dont think you can meet a stranger after youve heard them cum through the walls though
I really need to get laid. I'm telling at least 10 girls that I love them tonight.
Odds are at least 1 out of those 10 girls will be as crazy as you and will be into it.
I cant prove it..but im almost positive that you were just outside my window watching me while eating out of a bag of Cheetos...
I have a busted ear drum from when he honked his horn when we started to have sex on his car in the parking lot...
I don't have patience to seek someone out and try to decipher whether or not I think I'd want to actually have their dick in my face.
I miss college girls! You know how depressing it is to fuck 30 year olds? That's what failure feels like
I have to date her we need a place to stay for tailgating
When you glanced over and and mouthed "I'll take the fat chick" I knew it was going to be an epic Sunday night.
O was like, nah, fuck 50-50. My version of bi is that i'm 80% gay, 20% drug-addled decisions. Apparently he's straight on hallucinogens.
He plays guitar, sings like an angel, and acts like a gentleman. If I don't fuck him by the end of first semester, I'm dropping out
Thanks for driving us home last night. Also, blanket apology for anything I may have said/done. I blacked out sometime near the t-shirt cape incident
Randomize
