He looks like a mix between a retired piano teacher and a cat that just swallowed a sock.
With such a small dick you'd think he'd try to make up for it with some sort of personality.
I'm sitting by the window waiting for the sun to go down so that I can start drinking.
Just had sex with your cousin. That's what you get for throwing away a perfectly good microwave. Hopefully you learned from this experience.
Everybody knows the last week of summer internships include showing up to the office hammered and hitting on the CEO
As the night goes on these shots are getting so much easier. My liver jst needed a warmup lap.
I woke up at 5:47 in the morning to you peeing on my parents bedroom floor. I think we've established that you have a limit .
Used my phone to vibrate 'eye of the tiger'. It's like Rocky is punching my nuts, but gently.
I think I'm allergic to vodka. Or people getting engaged. One or the other. I want to die.
Happy Birthday. May your liver respect you, fat bitches neglect you, hangovers reject you, and AA accept you.
Just sent a dick pic to ur girl. It was accident. Plz mail it to Gena.
Why thank you for your unwanted opinion, person I've never met before.
I mean, I already hooked up with her boyfriend. The least I can do is accept her facebook friend request.
can you take a pic of your glorious tits but not send it just yet? I need motivation to finish this bull shit presentation.
Neighbor just came over and asked if I had anything to clean blood out of carpet... it's definitely time to move.
Randomize
