Tip #47, don't trim the bush when you have the shakes!
words of advice: black light parties reveal cum stained clothing.
he yelled 'rock me amadeus!' when he came
i love that song!
NOT THE POINT
after i talked him through a bulleted list of why we couldn't have sex he just said "but it would be fun...."
It's one of those mornings where you wake up and want to go to church for the first time in ten years. THAT shameful.
But he was wearing a glow-in-the-dark condom. It was like a glowing rod of kryptonite. I can't resist that, kryptonite is my weakness.
Maybe before the beach I should get a tracking chip in my arm.
When I say drunk I mean that in the process of filming a fratstar cooking show they threw a keg into the street where the police came to clean it up. now all they can say is "THE KEG GOT ARRESTED."
I broke my arm trying to do a hand stand in my shower to wash the hate out of my asshole.
Okay hun. Well my neighbors haven't called the cops yet so I think we're good. No more burning in the yard.
This lady gave me four cups to go along with my gallon of daiquiri. Silly girl, all I need is a straw.
He and I didn't so much date, as watch cartoons and go down on each other.
I AM DRUNK AND AGGRESSIVE ABOUT CURLING!
The US is in the finals, aren't they.
The guy i took home was a circus freak. He jerked off 3 times in front me after we had sex. And he came every time.
Never going back to jail again. Only time in my life I've ever had a wet dream about jerking it...
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