I'll buy you a vibrator, we can get married for tax benefits, and live happily ever after with lots of doggggs.
i just ordered an al pacino with double mocha at starbucks.. i'm waiting to see how long it takes the chick to realize what i said.
i stapled my math hw together with an ear ring, too ghetto?
He' s half Black and half Italian, I finally asked...this penis maybe one for the records.
Because its an amazing idea and you're the only one I can think of that will allow a pirate threesome
It's sad the highlight of the night was you didn't electrocute yourself again.
Brought 2 entire pizzas with to the bar, everyone loves us
I just sat there and watched paula deen's face melt for an hour.
You're just mad that I don't wanna have dugout sex with you
There are 27 signatures on my ass. What the hell happened last night?
Every time someone made a cup you congratulated them by letting them sign your ass.
The bartender seems to not like the DD's anymore. I'm sad
I have chafed skin from the handy she gave me. I told her that and she said return the favor when it heals. I'm in love.
Kid got so high from the brownies he forgot his own name. Welcome to college.
Fast is cars. Home is I now. Drunk yoda me is.
your fucking longboard fell on me while we were having sex you fucking hipster
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