SECOND walk of shame from the westside Hilton, SECOND foreign family w kids staring at me in my dress, glitter purse, spiky heels and booze breath. I said I was going to church. More confusion.
Just saw a man in a wheel chair using his feet to push himself backwards through a crosswalk... good morning Atlanta
come home now. i got a twizzler tangled in my hair again
They had to restock the bar 3 times before midnight. There is a bridesmaid dress hanging in a tree outside.
Dude give me 4 good reasons we shouldn't trade girlfriends tonight
you went all the way to UK and still managed to hook up with someone from our highschool...
You would ignore him even if it wasn't NoManUary. It could be the Winter of a Thousand Dicks and you wouldn't talk to that guy.
The Winter of A Thousand Dicks sounds terrifying!!!
she put on her moms wedding dress and is chugging purple jolly rancher vodka, happy cyber monday
You sent me snap chats of you guys having sex. Like plural. It was like flip book porn, I'm traumatized.
I'm not saying I haven't been that drunk. I'm just saying I haven't been that drunk and then have cops buy me shots.
im glad im back to a point in my life where i have enough sex to sometimes be offered and be like naw im good.
The first thing I did when I got to the apartment was masturbate on the couch
I know you like got hit by a car but do you want to come to my birthday pardi
Drinks have officially taken priority over self-respect, and I'm not even all that torn up about it.
on a scale from 1 to "can't put a toothbrush in your mouth without gagging" how hungover are you?
Randomize