All these guys look like the American Apparel version of Jesus...
So it's like pop-o-matic trouble, but with penises
My unemployment check should really just be direct-deposited into the checking account of my drug dealer
it's not our fault the pink and the sink are so close together.
I just wanna buy a tempur-pedic so i can drink in bed and not spill
I just don't see what's wrong with carrying a water bottle around.
It's not the bottle. It's the fact that you're drinking wine out of a sport bottle at 9 am.
i will be blacked out in the shower. come get me. 20 mins.
Dude, you need to understand there is a fine line between "guilty pleasure" and in the closet gay
I thought the cops would know I was on shrooms because I was 10ft tall.
I'm busy watching infomercials. I'd say I'll join you later, but I'm doing a shot every time they demonstrate how difficult life is WITHOUT this product. So I doubt I'll be able to walk in another... Maybe 40 minutes.
But feel free to join! A new infomercial starts in 12 minutes.
"You're the only girl I haven't made out with yet" = worst pick up line ever
He sent me a picture of his dick as a snake, I'd say things are going great.
Strip club or gay bar tonight?
I am an emotionally compromised bisexual.
wait he has a twin??? which one did you fuck
yes
He had been licking my nipple for like 5 minutes and it wouldn't get hard. He asked me to lick my own and when I did, instant hardness. I realized I'd rather have sex with myself then this guy ..
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