Applied 4 a nanny job usin a Legit Site. Xplain to me how the couple I found offered me a 3some complete with 'sexy pics' of the wife blowin hubby. wtf?
obviously you're part succubus.
We got so high yesterday we tried watching soccer
Ummm so I just found the baby pumpkin that was on my porch last night in Village Pizza this morning on their counter. The cashier said some drunk girl came in and told him it was a present.
shes got that 'its my party i can do meth if i want to' mentality. i like that.
Did you pluck my eyebrows one night when I passed out?
I'm pretty sure it all started going downhill last night when they suggested I see how much sambuca I could fit in my mouth
I'm soaked in champagne. I'm eating oatmeal from mcdonalds tonight was glorious
Yeah, I fucked him. and the worst part is his name was Jesus. And nobody said it in Spanish. Just Jesus. There is no way I can avoid burning when I walk into a church from now on.
You cant use biscuit as a chaser
I'm bonding with your girlfriend. I like her. We're plotting your demise.
My one night stand asked me out to dinner. When he came to pick me up I got in the back seat. I thought he sent an uber. Awkward.
I imagine you as a cat holding your burrito with two paws and cutely eating it
Rarely does a man I fucked with upgrade from me
I mean, I want you to have freaky orgasmic fun to entertain me, but I don’t want you to risk HIV or car crashes
I know right, I would blow him just for the satisfaction he would taste like vodka
Randomize
