maybe you should take the dick out of your mouth before you start talking.
i did. i'm using it as a microphone.
He's getting better. i'm using GuitarHero to teach him how to finger me. My clit = the red tab.
At lowes after workin outside. Kid behind me says "mommy that man smells like a taco" yes she was talking about me.
She was ugly to the point i wanted to brush my teeth after looking at her
I have no idea. Next thing I know we're all down on one knee saying the pledge of allegiance and then singing I'm Proud to be an American. Then Trevor ate pizza off the sidewalk.
She's walking around topless with a bottle of red wine, crying and singing showtune ballads. This is actually an improvement.
My lips are sealed. Both pairs.
I guess I'm in a committed relationship. We just had shot 1 of 3 of Gardasil. I'm now dead inside.
The amount of alcohol I'm going to consume on my birthday is directly proportional to the amount of shit I've had to put up with this past year. Which is a lot.
there is something about beer and popsicles that make the world go round
He's just so adorable. And I don't want to fuck someone who's adorable.
The only times girls talk to me at clubs is when they're asking if I'm okay when I'm puking outside. Or if it's a tranny
We should buy t shirt guns and blow eggs out of them at his house. Bachelorette party
Oh and it took quite a bit of doing, but I managed to wipe my butt with the hat you left in my car
gonna stay in tonight
and im a platypus. shotgun a beer and get your dick to this party. ive got some hot friends visiting
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