woke up naked, spooning with wine bottle.. and my video chat was still open. fuck, not again.
just woke up in the beanbag bin at walmart
And people are going to start dressing like that in public, it's just ridiculous, the goths and now the GAGAs
I bought this skirt with every intention to have it wrapped around my tits by the end of the night. So, I'm not a whore. I'm a self-fulfilling prophecy.
Yeah got a self inflicted broken nose.
I am as serious as getting herpes in Mexico...
What do herpes have to do with anything?
You know when you meet a penis that looks like it was made out of all your hopes and dreams?
Sadly he is straight as an arrow that is designed by a robot computer from the future with lasers.
This saddens me. Mostly because I want to see the schematics on that robot.
I have no idea. He was just running around wearing a horse mask yelling "bumfuck" repeatedly. We figured we'd just let him get it out of his system.
Option 1: fuck me and bedtime. Option 2: come fuck me and then hangout with everyone. Option 3: don't fuck me in which case fuck you.
I think I have a bro crush.. When I imagine him, I imagine him waking up to go take a shower and just finding three bitches making out waiting for him. Like that awesome.
I need to be her Aladdin, and show her the world. The sex world.
Okay first of all fuck you and everything you stand for because Taco Bell is amazing.
You told me you could hear my heartbeat through my penis but your methods were unethical.
Sixty five beats a minute. I stand by that.
Question: how does one descretely ask the ice cream truck driver thats out at 10:00pm if he sells weed?
Randomize
