Seriously, I'd take them all over any of the milfs here...and you know how much that means coming from me
Houston, we have a problem
where are u?
Houston. That's the problem. I don't know how I got here.
You said your dick dragged you up the stairs
Just before going down on me she said, "I need a hairband for all of the jobs I'm about to perform."
ugh i can't even wear this perfume anymore. it just brings back blurry memories of blowjobs and regret.
The only reason we got away with streaking last time was cuz we had those miner hats
Day 10 and still no sign of rescue in my pants.
I'm drunk doing an ab workout. I can only hope I make it to bed tonight.
Masturbated furiously for a half hour; ate a fistful of chocolate, then took a nap. Woke up and finished wrapping presents. I've got this holiday thing down.
I'm not talking about Donald Trump in the midst of sending you nudes
We walked around last night for hours saying nothing but nom nom nom and barking at each other.
Hey. You got pizza and sex. How much more can you ask for?
Well Jon got a DUI sleeping in the back seat so I thought the trunk was safer. BUT WHO CARES WHY JUSE PLEASE COME LET ME OUT!
would you eat cereal with weed in it
who is this???
They're doing CPR to someone in the middle of Victoria's Secret. Way to block the undies, damnit!
Randomize