Im watching he's just not that into you, eating way too much pizza, and feeling very single.
i just picked a peanut m&m up off the floor. with my toes. and then proceeded to eat it.
I love taking my adderall while im in class! As soon as I take the pill out everyone around me just stares in envy!
I didnt realize til after I got out of her apartment and into the lobby that we lived in the same building.
Dude, you need to understand there is a fine line between "guilty pleasure" and in the closet gay
I can't even tell you how many rave sticks I tore apart with my teeth last night.
I went to the bathroom, came back, and my friend was sleeping leaning up against the stripper pole.
Take a good hard look at your life. And the number of 18-20 year olds that you have made out with in the last 6 months... and then keep doing whatever the fuck you want.
He was so hammered. He called the cops on the landscapers he thought they were trespassing. 2 were arrested on warrants.
Almost to my house to grab beer. And pants.
I'm mailing you cans of corn and that's final.
i woke up with fake boobs glued on my chest and a large black dildo on my hand. then i had to dress myself and walk home. people saw.
I made a booty call at 3:30 am on a Monday... I think I just became the ultimate female fuckboy. I don't know whether to be ashamed or get myself a trophy.
Nothing says "Happy New Year" like having to shit into a plastic bag.
I like how I can go from sucking dick in the my basement to singing along to veggie tales with my family in a span of 10 minutes.
Randomize
