she was hot for a redneck and i dont look at teeth
Wish you were here....
And I wish your mouth was around my cock, but that never happens, does it?
It's never good when you wake up covered with burns
I need a $60 an hour job, because I have a $50 an hour drinking habit.
Ah, I knew it wouldn't be long before my boobs were introduced into the conversation.
While you were puking in the ocean I was rubbing your back saying "Just give it back to Mother Earth".
Wednesday. Otherwise known, to you at least, as "there are two gay men in my bed" day.
Everything was good until you pulled the bartenders hair because she cut you off
There's somethin not right about having to take the batteries out of your 27 year old boyfriends gameboy to use in your vibrator
Why was I drunk tweeting incorrect Beyonce lyrics last night?
this is honestly why we're friends. we drink tea and plan to do drugs together.
After a crazy night, morning sex is just trying to find a position where you can thrust without getting seasick.
I love that my family celebrates every holiday with a joint. Chanukah? Mazel-juana! Easter? What's more spring than the color green? Election day? What better way to celebrate democracy in action than medical pot?
So his dick was definitely bigger than it looked in all the pictures he sent my daughter.
I passed out in your bed last night...there maybe a snickers and twix bar under your pillow
Randomize
