I too understand the importance of cheesy bread
p.s. you have a small clit
YOU ARE THE MOST AWKWARD PERSON ALIVE.
you're the one who masterbates every night to the titanic soundtrack
I dont know whats worse: her telling me she was so drunk i was "almost sexy," the fact that even when theyre shitfaced, im just "almost sexy" to girls, or the fact that i wasnt that offended by it.
walking on campus just saw the exact moment some kids life got ruined
he's on the phone and just starts going "FUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUCCCCCCCCKKKKK", then follows it with "Are you sure your pregnant?"... made my day
Is there a word for someone who only has sex with NFL prospects?
You know the party was great when the birthday girl gets arrested
You were saying you didn't want to go home and insisted that I drop you guys off at your uncles. That's how you ended up sleeping on a porch with two dudes
I told him to pick up the beer can he threw in front of the police station. So he gets out chugs whatever's left and throws it back and says ok let's go.
Our lady landlord called. Dot worry, I handled it. Drunk. Tell her it was Nate. Done. Good. Bye. Drunk.
That idiot. I'll see him on campus and he'll try and touch me like we're friends or some shit. 1.you're ugly 2. You dropped the blunt in the pool
i know i shouldn't tell you this since i want you to really like me but i just spent the last 4 hours sleeping on the toilet.
I just went through the Wendy's drive thru only wearing a towel. My life has hit an all time low
Sorry for pissing on y'all's floor last night
Congrats you've received dick pics from an Olympic silver medalist
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