I'm going to let the use of the word "hella" slide considering I have sperm older than you.
I just single handedly caused ferngully by printing the wrong 900 page document
so when we got to the frat house he had a travel sized toothpaste and toothbrush for me and gave me a pair of his shorts and a girl's sorority t shirt...something tells me he's done this before
ever seen your mom drunk enough to lick your face? i have
sometimes i think i'm bisexual but then i realize the only girl i'm attracted to is myself.
The only coherent words in the 6 texts i recieved were don't, cute, fucking, beer, and lions
I'm 2 blowjobs away from girlfriend status....don't tell me I don't know how to have an adult relationship
well what is some mechanical horse racing with out blow involved
My horoscope told me I'm getting laid tonight. Please don't make the stars be liars
They poured beer (3 cans) down the toilet so bubbles can be drunk in fishy heaven
Not sure how I feel about St Psts and March Madness being on the same weekend. I feel like I've been screwed out of a drunk holiday.
cool, get new shit, I dnt want the same old if it's my last drink ever
The world isn't ending you idiot. I'll grab beer
I had the hottest doctor assess me at the hospital. He smelled like heaven and sex.
Drunk and bowling. Only good things can come of this
Let's just say, I'm pretty sure you're banned from Skype.... like, forever.
Randomize
