What would a frattoo be? Maybe like the Chinese symbol for Keystone Light.
if reincarnation is for serious, i better be a guy in my next life
with a huge shlong
massive. i wanna make bitches cry
She stuck a Big Gulp bend-y straw up his ass to see if he could handle anal.
Ew, and?!
Well he couldn't and the deal was he had to drink something using it afterwards.
Brought a cooler and a case to a parade. I'm getting dirty looks since it's 10:30. Telling people it's for the troops.
Even the paramedic said "what a way to kill a party"
In lieu of flowers, please donate to The Hungover Children's Fund in my name.
She fell asleep with me.... We found her pantsless in the dogbed in the morning... Russian foreign exchange students
Fuck you for setting me up with the guy from the Nickelback cover band
Payback for not stopping me from fucking the guy in the wookie costume
He puked in the voicemail. That's a true friend right there.
My sister was borrowing my phone when the sext came through. She just said "wow. He's got a nice dick!" Then went on like nothing happened. Outed by a dick pic and its no big deal. Best sister ever.
Is girls night deemed a success when you piss the bed?
I did not appreciate your texts about spanking at 3'o'clock this morning.
I'm spending my Sunday wishing the entire Patriots offense would let me touch their manhood
mid-october of freshman year. goals have shifted from "no more guys on my floor" to "all the guys on my floor."
I think God is sending me all these 20 year olds to make up for wasting my 20's in that crappy ass marriage. Thanks Big Guy!
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