I skipped work to stalk him.
I trust that you have thought of something completely illegal for us to do this weekend.
Everything that you guys said happened came back to me. like a tidal wave of regret.
Drunk versus high capture the flag: what team is everybody gonna be on?
Well the good news is my "i'm an adult" dinner party went well, they all brought wine and complimented my cooking abilities. the bad news is i woke up with the leftovers in my bed/on my face
On a separate but also a very relevant note, can we practice drinking wine like real people?
I feel like someone had their period in my eyes.
I'm sorry I got a little outta control last night.
All I remember is lecturing my dog about how she's a lucky bitch to have a structured eating and shitting schedule.
You may see me wearing your shirt to class. It's because I still have the spins and I'm anticipating throwing up on it. Asshole.
Did not foresee holding down food at work today to be a struggle today
I was like can I please fuck your hips back into realignment
It's like weed even makes my glasses better. Everything is so bright and clear and beautiful!
Post breakup Disney World may be my best idea ever! Tinkerbell just grabbed my dick and gave me a kiss! This really is the happiest place on earth!
I'm drinking coffee out of a pasta sauce jar and eating fruit soaked in Smirnoff. I think I've hit rock bottom.
You either got a dog, or you have a boy over. I can't tell from the noises which it is.
All the movies on cable here are either porn or Bollywood. I am never leaving this hotel.
Randomize
