i should write a book entitled 'the joys of being sexually objectified'
If your still trying to figure out the moment I stopped caring; it was the point in which you said "I really wasn't sure whose baby it was"
that's the ideal party shoe. cute, but i can still puke in them.
I can die happy now, I have been kicked out of strip clubs on six different continents
Seriously. You just grinded your ass all over the heisman trophy's dick. I want you to think about that.
I thought he was joking about the hundred beer challenge until two guys showed up with a camera and boom mic. This cabin party is going to be fucked
You may or may not of thrown up on your shoes, and you tried to give me a wet willy in my eye.
Believe it or not I'm actually not the only person sitting in the back of the train covered in glitter and drinking whiskey out of an arizona iced tea can. Small world.
Every time I think about it I can feel His toe in my mouth and I gag, I'm scarred for life.
I slept with someone shorter than me. My vagina weeps.
You fool.
i think the theme of this summer is "shitting in weird locations."
Nothing brings people closer than bonding over tequila shots and running from campus security.
I think I gave a random lady a dildo
Again?!
You have ten minutes starting with this message to get here. Or I'm putting my clothes back on.
my night went from a boring school play to hotboxing a car with 3 criminals
Randomize