oh and i really hope miley falls off this mountain she is climbing
I wish I loved anything like you love Tequila.
Exactly. All of us sinners go to hell and get nothing while all of the goody two shoes get to go to heaven where its all pink floyd, lasers, and pot.
I just remember getting him back by licking the window on his truck.
It's alarming how good I'm getting at being productive at work on Thursday after Johnny Walker Wednesdays.
Yeah I tried to leave with 3 drinks and the bouncer wouldn't let me, I slammed all 3 right in front of him and football spiked them in the trash can
Had no idea what his name was when I woke up. Went through his desk, found his tax records. Ben. And loaded.
He gave me such a powerful orgasm I blurted out I love you. This is why just rebouding out of a serouis relationship is awkward.
Do not deep throat a rocket pop, it WILL go into your lungs, and you may die.
I don't know, Alex. I don't know. I lost my keys, my debit card, my makeup bag, broke my purse, had to have someone cut my shoe off, I have no idea where my costume is. I woke up next to the biggest douchebag I know and made out with this other guy while SIMULTANEOUSLY talking on the phone to the guy I'm talking to...
Drunk Jeff aka Dreff thinks he's about 3x cooler than be really is and about 100x better at dancing than he really is
my life could not get any worse. just saw my sister in a porno
I'm stuck in a tree and request your assistance ASAP
My house is about to be spotless and the only person visiting is the plumber and not the porno kind.
She's asleep in a fisher-price toy car
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