Jerry, you need to find god
fyi, i just bought my first strap-on. the little mermaid theme song was playing in the background.
For the millionth time in his career, Brett Favre has screwed over the Vikings
I just saw a girl walk by me wearing a "kiss me I'm pro choice" shirt. Is that a signal for easy access?
the only thing coherent you said from what i saw of you is when you were throwing up, i asked if you were done and you just "uh huh you know what it is"
omg. i wish i could describe to you the number of things that were just in my vagina. i feel like i got gangbanged by construction workers.
Bunch of Navy warships just sailed into New York Harbor for Fleet Week. Nobodys getting laid this weekend.
I still feel like a bad person. A shoulder to cry on became a dick to suck.
I just made my mom buy me lube. I've reached a new level of broke.
I lost my pants last night, she told me I walked into their room after leaving 5 minutes before wearing my thong.....and no pants. I have absolutely no idea where I left them.
Whose dick am I looking at? There are too many possibilities at the moment.
If God is analyzing my life right now extremely proud or dissapointed but either way I took wednesday night drinkin to new levels
is it still the walk of shame if his dad gave me a 'thanks for sleeping with my son' head nod on my way out this morning?
I would have wore underwear last night if I knew I had to change a tire this morning
I wore my old cheerleading uniform.. He came before I even touched his dick. Should I be irritated, or flattered?
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