i told my grandma i broke up with my boyfriend. her reply " you need to play the field more anyway"
Just saw an Asian guy riding his razor scooter to class. Dreams do come true
I was chocking and even did the sign for it..And you continued to just laugh
he got a charlie horse midthrust which triggered my orgasm we're still sorting this out.
By the way, thank you for feeding me fries when I was sitting on the floor.
I need to do something profound in the next three and a half years so that when my kids ask what I did in my twenties I have something to say other than "made bad decisions"
Ok not good, my info has definitely been submitted to this sugar daddy website before.
Goddamn you thin people LEAVE FOOD FOR THE BIGGER DRUNKARDS WHO NEED IT
You got me so high that I almost couldn't leave my house for a bar because there was nothing to lean against on the way there
Send me one of your boob pics as an example. I mean this in the straightest least lesbian way possible.
This is the I'm sorry text for running around yelling don't shit on my rainbow, end up in the fetal position crying at 4 am in my car because someone shit on my rainbow
I want to go out and have good clean fun.
Ok, but that does not include Bud Light Platinum and your vagina.
Interesting occurrence: the application I use to keep track of my periods and sexual encounters just notified me it had been over 4 months since you were logged as an active partner and ask if I'd like to remove you from my options. Wow, kmsl.
Jesus, I think this onesie was designed to keep me from masturbating.
SOME BITCH AT THE HOSTEL STOLE MY NUT BUTTER THERE WILL BE BLOOD
Randomize
