So I had a Liz Lemon moment today....went to Chipotle to get my "cheer me up" burrito bowl for the 4th time this week and the chipotle guy sighed and said always the same huh?
just threw up on my speech test, so much for a great semester
There's a paramedic out here, what have you done?
I think he finally resigned to the fact he could not get off. He just looked at me and said "I'm having testicle difficulties," rolled over and passed out.
I woke up with cheeseburger in my mouth and a deep sense of accomplishment.
she let a homeless guy feel her up so she could go for a ride in his shopping cart
He told his ice cream cone it 'looked cute' and then started to cry. The Dairy Queen people were not pleased.
Will it be a clothes optional week when I get there? I have an amazing outfit of tattoos and toenail polish planned.
We were suposed to have a 3some in their bathroom but it just turned into us 2 making out while he watched like a little kid on christmas morning
If it's up to me, I'll already have my pants on and walking out before he gets soft afterward.
Trying to figure out the logistics of putting my laptop speakers on this plate with the last slice of pizza. Too drunk to move the plate. Not an option.
You just kept yelling and saying, "IM NOT GOING TO STOP YELLING UNTIL YOU TAKE THAT SHOT"
fucked a girl in Bentley hall at ten tonight, came on the carpet and I plan on doing it in another building soon. Watch where you walk
He fucked me in one of the back rooms at the club then gave me an altoid. I have mixed feelings about it still.
I texted her mom a picture of us doing it saying "I'm trying to make your daughter just like you!" she was not amused.
Randomize