so he came in my eye... should i throw out my contacts?
well I washed the adderal like an idiot. the capsules broke but the beads inside were intact. so my landlady came in and caught me licking the dryer lint screen
I just added 'steal mom's xanax' to my to do list for when I go home for Easter.
You then began crawling around in the grass with a magnifying class saying you were searching for the magic school bus.
i was super drunk. to the point where i was putting shredded cheese on a fork, putting hot sauce on it then dipping it in salsa. it was awesome.
Just remembered when I bought that round of shots I told the girls to "get their whore friend" who was making out with her bf instead of drinking. I don't know why they stayed.
I wonder what it's like for my roommate to live bicuriously thro my sex life
I just entered us to win a trip to Vegas for spring break. GET YOUR VAGINA READY FOR THE ULTIMATE DICK HUNT!
Not to mention I think lunch is a little inappropriate when our relationship is only based on Mario kart and alcohol so far...
It's simple. He fucks me at his place and I fuck him at my place. It's like man of the house gets to top.
You've lost booty call privileges between the hours of 10pm and 8am.
If I die on my walk home, please come claim the body. There is $30 in my left shoe for you....for pizza
He kept referring to my giving him head as a new level in our relationship and acting sentimental
You gave him a bj, not a kidney
My parents are now taking hits off a joint. Thank you.
How does the curb feel today?
It's stronger than my elbow. But I found my lighter while I was down there.
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