Do you think they'll have a special part during the BET awards for Michael Jackson even though he turned white?
Farted during a conference call.SBD. permeated the room people were gonna puke.noone could say anything or leave cus we were on the phone with clients. coworkers were outraged.how I still have a job is beyond me.
I am officially superior to you. I said "Go Go Gadget Dick" before I fucked her. I dare you to beat that.
So this text is costing me two dollars because I'm out of the country, but I just wanted to let you know it went well with the stripper last night
You missed practice last night. You owe at least 8 hours of liver sprints.
I just ditched my friends to hang out with the chilis restaurant crew...one of these girls better have daddy issues
Are we hungover?
I got a lapdance from a gay guy in red uggs and spandex shorts with reindeer antlers on. And I don't remember it. Hungover does not even cover it.
I honestly don't think it will ever get topped. Unless a real female cop arrests me, then fucks me. That's it.
I've had more jaegerbombs than I can count on 3 fingers
I'm getting a collar when he gets back in to town! That's like the bdsm equivalent of getting his class ring!
Still pimpin that dick in the cornfields. Now it's just transferred to the local bar.
First day in a very long time I've done more pushups than bong rips
And by not handle it I mean it makes me want to sit on his face
She just. Cock slapped me. With string cheese.
I can't talk, I can't walk, I think I'm twitching and I'm not even sure if I'm typing this. Help
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