Dub. In the bra. Dub in the bra.
I have to look really hot tonight because my personality is going to suck.
i saw a guy balancing a black cat on his head last nite
get a pic
i tried he was too far away anotherguy was walking with paper bags on his feet explain that
i want ur life
My boss' voice literally gives me gas
the non-midget kid sent 8,000 texts in a month. the midget parents are pissed. THIS IS EPIC WHEN YOUR HIGH.
All I remember is him trying to go down on me, but I guess I was too busy making out with his brother
That's like being smoked out by a unicorn. If the opportunity presents itself you fucking do it and don't ask questions.
Gregs sitting in the living room in his underwear hitting the bong watching a rob schneider movie. His lack of fuck giving is inspirational
He is dating a girl who is on the Olympic shooting team...I've never been so scared to hit on a guy with a girlfriend in my entire life.
I feel like cursing someone's first born child right now. Like I wanna maleficent some bitch.
We took your mom out drinking and we wound up winning 18 games of Flip Cup. You have amazing genetics.
It's Scottsdale, it shouldn't be this hard to find drugs.
I am NOT pregnant
My barren womb can FUCK WHOEVER I want
Did I see you at the bar last night?
Yes. You just kept grabbing my boobs and saying how much better they are than yours...
i now regret my decision on turning down your offer of sex in the backseat
Randomize
