Where the fuck is Rob at, he hasnt answered his phone in like 2 weeks.
Dude Rob died 2 weeks ago wtf?
Holy shit r u serious? How?
Just kidding, but im pretty sure he boned your gf and doesnt want to talk to you.
Just walked pass a bum on the way to a coinstar... awkward
just served this dwarf dude an entire pitcher of malt liquor. watching this will totally be worth my bartender's certification.
she's lying on the floor with a bottle of vodka, belting shakira. plz advise.
Not sure if it's my shorts, hat, shoes, hair or soul but one of the above just got me drunk again from the glorious aroma of Keystone Light.
Wrote my name backwards on the test and asked for extra credit points. Late start booze days are my new favorite thing.
Dude, i don't know. I don't remember anything after we started chanting/playing "shot of gin."
If I end up in a healthy relationship because of this, I will NEVER forgive you!!!
you're right. a strip only looks good in porn . mine just looks like a fucked up mullet
Went kayaking. drunk. DID NOT FALL IN. Mission succesful.
He took me out, we slept together, and he sent me home this morning with fresh cantaloupe. #husbandstatus
I'm currently sitting at your kitchen table eating chicken nuggets that I dug out of the trash and thinking about how much I need to get laid.
Drunk me also decided it would be funny to change all the passwords on my computer last night. Now I can't log into anything.
At 3:00am my whole house started smelling like cooking meat. I have no idea why she thought it was a good idea to crock-pot a WHOLE turkey that early in the morning.
I don't want to date him...I just want him to cheat on his girlfriend with me.
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