she said it was ok for her to take her top off in the hot tub but she didn't take off her bottoms because that would be slutty
yeah he didnt know till after their one year. You have no idea how bad i wanna say "dude i sucked on those boobs before you"
On a positive note, new entry in my phone as 'HOT ASS, DOWN TO FUCK'. idk if its a boy or girl tho.
Update, its a couple
I'll bring the barf blanket just in case.
So i think i'm going to frame my summons tickets and give them to dad as a christmas present...
Whenever I walk away from the group without saying anything, NEVER assume I'm just going to the bathroom.
sex, shower, sex, ice cream sandwiches?
He's tying my arms above my head and all I can think is that I should've shaved my armpits
Like I cant decide if he's like autistic or something or just seriously cock blocks himself on purpose with this shit
Thank you. I woke up with a beard hair in my mouth. Super classy.
I knew you were cut off when you tried to order a "Phil Collins"
My girl friends dad just asked how I get so drunk and then he passed out with a bloody Mary in his hand on the couch it's 230 do you know where your parents are
in the future we should consider sippy cups so we can drink and passout accordingly
so this hot guy who looks like brad pitt circa troy era in my physics lab is staring at me right now and it's taking all the willpower I have not to procreate with him right now.
when your dumb AF ex “accidentally” venmos you $50 and texts you asking for it back..... —sorry I accidentally deleted your number and cashed out
Randomize
