Now hope fervently that she'll do it quick and cheap, just the way i like it
around noonish you got carried out for spitting water and throwing cups at old people...
are you serious? he told me he had to cancel bc his grandma came into town
well unless his grandma is 21 and blonde, HE LIED TO YOU IDIOT
Chipotle...archenemy of the gay man. Cockblocking me since 1997
Seriously. My exes act like they own shares of my vagina.
Well, in their defense, they have invested a lot of time and money
I was in the shower, he came in, had me give him a blow job, and left. I'm pretty sure I was just booty called. While taking a shower.
its like accelerated beer pong for children.....we train champions young
They told me you were taking cheese cube shots and chasing them with barbecue sauce... Is this true?
We saluted the chips to the national anthem before cooking them. The house has to get a munchies fryer
I went from innocently day drinking to waking up handcuffed in jail. Fuck you game days
Is it bad that I don't ask for names anymore? Just added "gold-chain-wearing hotel guy" to my list under "minivan 3way" and "funny-tasting gym guy."
Would "deck the halls with penises " be an appropriate event title? I know peni is the plural but flow of the tongue as well
Just found out that my name comes from part of my mom's old stripper name.
Ah Christ I think I've reached the single life mentality 100%. I just inquired a photographer about a photo shoot with my dog.
I dunno about you, but I consider getting eaten out on the porch of a houseboat in -30c in a bridesmaids dress a northern right of passage
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