Writing my paper on freud at bar
??
Going up to girls and asking if they were anal explosive or anal retentive as children
Smooth
Do you think Patty Mayonase ever went down on Doug?
is sleeping with your Political Science professor Politically incorrect?
Was he helping you 'cram' for your final, or just giving an oral exam?
Just think. Tomorrow you'll wake up, shower, and get your brains fucked out. That's your ice cream. Today is your peas and carrots.
I got stoned in my snow covered car and pretended I was burried alive
I drove your lawn mower home. Hope you don't need it tonight. I'll bring it over tomorrow.
I walked in on him successfully eating chips and masturbating at the same time. I don't know whether I should be ashamed or proud.
Still at home. Videotaping hamsters.
Is the mullet a good, great, or horrible idea before we leave for college
My dog misses eating marshmallows out of your butt when you're passed out. That bordered on sex abuse, now that I think about it. My bad.
As a gentleman whose genital hole is relatively small, you could imagine my reaction
He let me eat chexmix while we fucked... I think I love him.
I just saw a girl on the phone crying and eating a sandwich. Thats talent right there.
Im sober enough to understand what people are saying but drunk enough to understand its hilarious
when some dude came up to you and said he didn't like your shirt you just looked at him and firmly asked if he really thought that you gave a fuck.
Randomize
