So I'm sober and underage, being hit on by a groom-to-be with braces...is it a bad thing that I'm enjoying it?
Yeah, it wasn't as bad as I thought. I tried not to clench and things went pretty smoothly.
i kinda do this "flirt with girls and pretend to be a hot white guy named chris" thing
so i asked him why he doesn't wanna see me anymore and he said he was questioning his sexuality. cool.
She literally called herself a shamefully bad decision. Of course I slept with her. Best bad decision ever
You haven't puked in my sink in over a year.. Youre coming over this weekend
She has an inverted nipple. She told to play with the normal one until the other one pops up.
Seriously your house is like the underground railroad for unwanted gay kids
Dude this weed smells so good they should make it into a Vicks vapor rub scent and I would rub it all over myself.
I watched you down those shots like a lion cub watching its mother rip apart a gazelle
Just found out that my name comes from part of my mom's old stripper name.
I'm not gonna swipe right, he has better hair than me. Just no.
I swear I was in Legend of Zelda Twilight Princess and American Ninja Warrior at the same time. I'm never getting high while rock climbing again.
I need to find a more reliable booty-call so I can start dating people and take it slow.
I'm so stoned. We're making Josh's sister bake us brownies. She's so small and pixie like. Her brownies make me cry tears of happy.
Randomize
