It was awkward until we both realized our obsessions with harry potter and sangrias were the same. Now were in love.
You need tk get a life and stop texting me about fictional characters. I don't give a shit.
he suggested i make a website called "cum on molly's face", to "start off my acting career"
I tried to throw up out of my window but I forgot there was a mesh screen.
tonight lets celebrate not being married
I had it in my eyebrows, my bangs, under one eye, and across both cheeks. Congratulations on the successful and elusive warpaint cumshot.
I told my mom happy mother's day then rubbed my belly and said "Oh, and happy grandmother's day too..." She started sobbing. You were right, that wasn't the best way to tell her.
Last night I ate parmesan cheese straight out of the container while watching Chelsea Lately. Look at what happens to me when you leave.
It's amazing the difference a day and 2000 mg of antibiotic make. Nine days to go.
i was quietly enjoying my waffles when he came downstairs naked, kissed me on the forehead, and thanked me for the night before. i didnt even know anyone stayed over.
I am the worst sexter. i actually told him .. if i had a penis, it would be hard right now. BTW thats a turn off.
Seeing your one night stand on campus never gets less awkward. Why is Subway the only good place to eat?
Dang. We need a girls trip ASAP. Preferably in a country who has even lower standards than us on a Friday night.
I feel like you're the reason public nudity is illegal and generally frowned upon in society
You tipped the Uber driver extra for taking your phone away while you were drunk texting
I just had sex on my divorce papers. I've never felt so poetic.
Randomize
