It's true. Ladies love me because I'm so strong and they feel safe. Not because of my pseudo charm and their impaired judgement after several drinks...
i have to get rid of the hedgehog.
Does it come with a cage?
yes. and food and toys.
i'll trade you an 8th for it
deal.
I'm doing laundry in pjs and heels, home alone with my margarita bucket.
I feel like I'm sitting in a sleigh of puddy. It's not a bathtub though because you need a sleigh to go down a mountain.
He used his one phone call to tell me not to let anyone drink all his vodka until he could bail himself out.
Rode my bike to work still drunk. Almost threw up on a camper while getting him out of his parents car.
I pretty much threw up on him while he slept, I had one task today which was to wash the sheets that I threw up on and I turned them pink. I would leave me if I could
Hey hey, in my defense we were just suppose to watch Disney movies from a blanket fort with beer and nachos. I was I suppose to know it would end in tears?
It got heated then she just left and I was all alone in the women's restroom.
antibiotics and champagne: breakfast of champions
If he thinks that that is an acceptable way to ask me out he is out his goddamn ginger mindddddd.
It's gonna be ok. As we grow older we sometimes lose sight of what's important to us. Like safe sex. And standards.
Some guy is in my phone as Pat McAwesome.
quickly learned not to sleep with your roommate and work colleague in the same week
Just because your drunk doesn't mean you can stick your dick in the snow. Just a FYI
Randomize
