Cool, I just put that together. I didn't know if using a tie-died sub machinegun was too crazy
i told her parents not too worry the way i do it girls dont get pregnant
the people next to us in line are buying a 12 pack and a snuggie
Bank of America texted me 7 times in 12 hours to say my balance was below $50. I kept transfering money back in. Then I texted my bank saying that it was okay, i knew what I was doing.
my mom found me this morning spread out like jesus sleeping on the living room floor. i had a piece of bread over my eyes to block the light out
thats what you get for writing a paper after liquor pitchers
its only a rough draft.
We fucked in your water heater closet. Told you we'd try everywhere.
We're all in the kiddie pool on the porch. Fully clothed. Watching porn. With my manager.
Okay: Whipped cream, vodka, and a trampoline. This will either be really great, or really tragic.
I would just like to point out that someone I had sex with drove me so I could have sex with you. I deserve some type of "most loyal booty call ever" award.
I'm considering having a threesome with my friend just so I can sleep with his boyfriend and not feel guilty about it.
Sorry, I was watching the Olympic story about the Canadian guy and drinking out of the prescription bottle and crying because it was so beautiful.
My greatest achievement in life thus far is being the go to friend when you have questions about butt plugs.
So i had a lucid dream about blowing myself. This is why people love me
Happy Father's Day to the first man I called Daddy while cumming.
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