I want to walk on stilts...naked
Denmark girl wants me to go out but i remembered shes a raging whore with extremely questionable morals. Not feelin that tonight
Hands down the best time I've ever had barfing.
i wouldn't be half as slutty if there were better things to do.
mmm whisky
reminds me of losing my job
Dude I'm telling you, conditioner is the best for jerking it in the shower. It feels great and afterwards everything is all smooth
he's 25, hott, and leaving for iraq tuesday, i wanna get in as much as possible...
your life is a nick sparks novel waiting to happen
You're sure you don't want to come? I'm pretty sure there is going to be "Pin the Tail on the Baby".
It's 5:30am in Vegas and I'm eating McDondalds next to crying prostitutes.....low point.
I know I should be focused on nurturing their bright little minds but it's 10 a.m. and I need a cock in my mouth
Saturday morning. Went into a study room excited b/c some1 had left a paper w/ an inspirational quote: YOU ARE cApable of aChieving anything yoU waNT. Then I read the bold letters.....
I realized last night, I never talk dirty in German during sex. How much wasted potential is that?
Awkward moment: seeing and saying hey to the MILF you're sleeping with while shopping with your mother and sister.
This is my life. Enjoy the view
My parents are paying for my knee surgery for my birthday. What costume will look good on crutches for my Halloween Birthday?
Welcome to adulthood.
Randomize
