i just found an uncooked ramen noodle in my underwear
Would we rather be in rehab with the drug addicts or the girls with low self esteem?
he found my favorite bra, 3 thongs and a pair of jeans and gave them back. i love move out day.
Need to stop getting stoned with this chick, I keep waking up covered in pizza sauce
I am particularly sorry about getting dome in your backseat. And for thinking you wouldn't notice.
He got 20 stiches.. Who knew so much damage could come from a single shopping cart.
if you really don't think our country's going to shit think of this. Exactly one year from now I will either be in law school or teaching young, impressionable kids, maybe even yours. Try to sleep after that.
Do you think that we can get a group discount on liver transplants? We'll be like kids again!
I have never heard someone not give a fuck so poetically in my life. I feel like you should be leading men into battle with a speech like that
If i want her back i know all i have to do is sleep with a specific handful of her closest friends. That method is tried and true.
Someone had Captain Morgan and orange juice at the same moment I lost my hangover and I just had to give it a try.
Ack! That is the first dick pic I've ever received. A) congrats B) that is way grosser than I ever thought t would be.
I hate how she's getting mean with age
Meh, you can't hate. That's our basic life goal and you know it.
I woke up naked and you weren't here. What a relief.
Just bought shot glasses from the thrift store. I think the guy buying a winter coat was even judging me.
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