toast her oven
toast her strudel
inspect her gadget
i want to fuck
?
it's pretty self explanatory
xbox live and facebook are tricking me into believing I actually have an active social life
words cant express how excited I am to make January 1st our own personal version of The Hangover
I mean its cheating, but i figure i've made out wiht married chicks before so its like a nicotine patch, quitting by doing less and less each day
Omg. One night stands are not supposed to show up to your swim class the morning after. Worst lesson ever.
They want me to get them some X for there wedding present. I'm on the way to get it now
Were making Christian mingle accounts. First one to get laid doesn't pay bar tabs for a month.
Challenge accepted. See you in hell.
All I remember was endless tequila and pulling karate moves from 3 Ninjas Kick Back towards the guy at 7 Eleven. Explanation?
He pulled a condom out of his satchel and i questioned my entire life.
She who has the vag holds all the power. He will learn one way or the other.
Wake up we need to beat the walk of shame rush hour
I got Pilsbury cinnamon rolls for us to have tomorrow, but I don't have the willpower to leave them in my fridge overnight, so I am eating them all and getting us more in the morning
I love you more by the minute
This whole pope visit thing is ruining me having sex.
He fired me, I fucked his wife, we're even I think...
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