Best look from Detroit today: running across the street with your buttcheeks on display carrying a 40 oz. Or maybe being crazy-pregnant and screaming and slamming a pay phone. Toss up.
I wonder how skeet ulrich feels about the skeet skeet phrase and and what it denotes.
i'm sure there's a big cosmic reason for things working out the way they did. like, now you have awesome images to masturbate to.
Should I tell Kevin that my finger was in his sister's ass last night?
In attempts to Not be THAT GIRL in front of my new crush I will only drink a 12 pack instead of my normal case.
Like reprimanding the wall for "sneaking up on me" drunk
They kept trying to slap each other but they were poring beer onto their hands first referring to it as their baby powder
I can't come tonight. Someone took a shit in the dressing room. A.) Clean it up or B.) Kill myself. Text back with your answer.
Having a vagina does not stop me from believeing my balls are bigger than yours.
cocks speak louder than words, as they say
Nobody says that.
Last night I dressed up as a cowgirl and walked into McDonald's. I bought 20 mcribs. There's pictures
I think my nap took me to another dimension
Stop studying come to the bar get drunk and help me figure out how to get home pretend there are commas in there someplace
I woke up this morning and I had the absolutely horrific realisation that I am the human incarnation of scrappy doo
I still can't believe a guy pooped in my backyard
Randomize
