I'm so horny!
I'm so hungry
WHAT A TERRIBLE REPLY!
For your pussy...
This guy has a retainer. We're golden.
New rule: no balls on the kitchen counter.
Picture this: me driving down 183 throwing up into a towel. I just hit rock bottom.
She said I was the most selfish person in bed she's ever been with and she's fucked Tucker Max.
How can I not totally like a guy that told me my boobs were too big for me to be taught how to play golf?
KNEE DEEP IN HOES. SEND HELP.
Florida has a way of just fucking with a person's soul and jizzing all over their hopes and dreams. Like existential bukkake.
WE SHOULD FUCK TWO GUYS THAT LIVE TOGETHER
THAT WOULD BE SO CONVENIENT WE COULD CARPOOL
I'm starting to think I didn't bring enough liquor for this family Christmas.
It's 2 pm....
It's twenty thirteen and the rando and I bonded over the fact that we're both stil using flip phones. Of course I fucked him in the bathroom. It was the obvious thing to do.
Dude, I traded weed for crunch berries. Happy Thursday.
I have bad memories with every alcohol but we manage to work through the problems for the good of the relationship
That dick was not the dick of a twenty year old
Isn't it funny how we're still best friends after that incident with the old lady in the bathroom
You fucking bailed on me. But I love you still
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