Well the bottom line is that I had to completely coat my testicles in Neosporin.
I want someone to please me without me having to show him steps 1 through 5
you drank 3/4s of your half gallon of vodka, made a fort out of the kitchen table, and actaually had sex in in it.
i jsut feel off the bus, but its ok the driver let me back on. a woman hid her baby from me..
It was perfect I came I passed out in his comfortable bed then a glass of jack Daniels fell from the bed post and spilled all over my face
Yessssss I diiiiid! I enjoyed 38% of it. There are 4 qualifications and 2 were good. 1. There is a penis in my vagina (Pass) 2. It's a big penis (Fail) 3. The sex is long and exciting and makes me sweat and have 6 pack abs (fail) 4. I got off (uhhh potential to pass...)
I don't think we had sex because when I woke up he was still wearing the chicken suit.
also, I heard you can donate your eggs for like $8gs....hellloooo mediterranean vacation. thank youuuu future babies!!!
We put your drunk ass to bed. 10 minutes later we heard you scream "DICK-PUNCH!!!" It was immediately followed by a shriek of pain and crying. So to answer your question; no, that's not "sex soreness".
The extent of "getting it in" was this creepy guy sticking his finger in my bellybutton
If we're single and alone together, the fuck angels shall sing upon our nude bodies.
Nipple rings and loofahs DO NOT mix.
Lol if he questions who I am I'm gonna send him a pic of his boxers
I just met a drunk old lady with a bedazzled life alert alarm around her neck. I love casinos
Gatorade without vodka just doesn't taste the same
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