he refuses to go down on me anymore when he's high because he thinks my clit piercing stares at him
It was as awful as eating cow testicles on fear factor and not winning and realizing you ate balls for nothing.
For a whole 2 minutes you were convinced you were talking to my voicemail
Could you explain why there is an Australian passport in your toilet?
I think all I remember saying is, "I love Chris Berman's voice" and then I passed out
she screamed "gravy"!!! in the guys face and then stole the very large mans food in line ahead of us... that was just the beginging of the police report.
I'm going to have to take an awkward trip to the front desk to ask them if they found a pair of turquoise shorts and an "I'm the Mom" sweatshirt.
You were telling the cab driver that you believe in him and just to follow his dreams
Would it be tacky of me to tell the two girls I just found out he's been sleeping with on the side that I've been having gay sex with him all semester?
Charles Darwin would shit his pants if he saw that we managed to survive that weekend.
I don't know bro. If a girl makes you cum hard enough that you pull a back muscle, she might be the perfect one to call for a massage on said muscle.
The real estate's complaint had the words "loud squealing at 2am" in it. Then I remembered that was me spoon feeding you guys old potato salad while you screeched like baby birds. Great night.
Hoping to get a pic of me on the tractor with an erection for you one of these days.
Please don't explain what tea bagging is to my mother.
I feel like your boyfriend deserves to know that you're a lesbian.
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