Dude that chick in the corner just threw up
Hot
no, its his 'welcome back from rehab' party.
My mom just bought me $200 worth of booze on the condition that I promise I won't have to go to rehab eventually
My sole motivation for showering this morning was to masturbate. Something is wrong here...
she handed me her phone while she blew me and told me to text her bf that she was at the store
I'm slowing backing away from her. I tried breaking up with her and it felt like I was clubbing baby seals.
The straight man in me wants to hit on her. But the gay man in me wants to compliment her on her awesome outfit.
Also I want everyone to be drunk at my funeral. Instead of wearing black just blackout. That way everyone can celebrate how fun I was
Yeah. I asked if there was a finger in my ass at some point or if I had a weird dream. So far he hasn't responded
Hyyypothetically, what would you do if you happened to see my boobs on the internet?
His 12 year old sister has bigger boobs than me and now that's all I can think about when we have sex
I need to stop agreeing to hang out with people when I'm drunk.
The vodka gummy bears are so strong. If I die of alcohol poisoning, please tell my dad it was single malt scotch.
I really prefer to do my walks of shame in the summer
idk he wanted to trade sex for a triple order of hashbrowns
AND YOU SAID NO?????????
Randomize
