u know ur drinking tonight lol i dont know why you try to deny it
but i dont wanna get emotional and drunk text
then give me ur phone
NEVER!!
dude we gotta go shopping. I made pancakes this afternoon and used them as sandwich bread.
It's amazing how much better one feels once you put something in your vagina.
found used condoms and an omlet in my uggs. I'm disgusted but not surprised.
They just came out of my bathroom and asked if I could spare them a condom. See. Its a good thing I have some.
Thats why you always identify the subtext of a blowjob before you accept it.
Apparently she buried shit in the snow back in January and now that it's melted I found a flip flop, 4 spoons, a bottle of smirnoff, and 14 different candy bars
We're gonna have horrible, horrible babies.
He walked away from the girl that just blew him to hook up with another girl, and when she got pissed he just turned around and screamed, "SHE IS LIKE 10X HOTTER THAN YOU!" Then she went on an angry dick sucking rampage. There were 4 victims.
This lady gave me four cups to go along with my gallon of daiquiri. Silly girl, all I need is a straw.
Seriously insulted!! You can not share my dick pick with your gay brother. He won't quit poking me on fb
See, I'm just thinking of how...angular my room is. You probably would have sustained brain damage
I WANT TO JUMP IN TO A VOLCANO
I deleted all traces of him from my phone
even the dick picks he sent you?
no are you nuts? saved that shit to my camera roll
I gotta stop fucking the bouncers. We are running out of bars to go to.
Randomize