yeah, i liked him til i heard he had a sac that could apparently smother my face.
I've rolled joints bigger than that penis.
I'm at taco bell and they have a hiring sign asking "do you like to melt things?" clearly they only want the ambitious.
I don't want end up bound and gagged in the back of a van headed for rehab. Bound and gagged OK. Just not the rehab part.
TO ALL WHO WERE IN MY HOUSE LAST NIGHT: WHOEVER STOLE MY BONG AND PUT IT ON THE ROOF WILL BE PAYING MY HOSPITAL BILL FROM LAST NIGHT.. AND BUYING ME A NEW, SWEETER BONG.
Was last night real? Did I lick your forehead while you laid in between my legs while we laid next to your boyfriend?
Imagine Captain Hook, but in penis form and sometimes shy.
My internship group is made up of all freshman. Their enthusiasm for education and social interaction sickens me.
He woke up in a dragon costume, covered in bong water. That was a party we will regret missing.
Still dying that you shit outside
Ugh why can't people just be grateful for my penis
Well, I got drunk and told my family about what I expected sexually after a good first date.
you said you were going to the bathroom. we found you an hour later laying in the backyard clutching a bottle of vodka while singing the beatles and crying
I promise I won't bug you anymore, I just need the following things at your convenience but preferably soon: my earrings, cup, and panties. Thanks. Good talk.
Whose the chick running for dorm president promising bigger dicks and softer toilet paper? That’s who I m voting for
Randomize
