Yeah....I really appreciate it....I didn't even get it from hooking up....lame, atleast if a girl gets u sick when u r hooking up it was fun in its inception...
if being creepy is wrong, then i don't want to be right
Waitress cut us off at Chili's bar. New low
I hate fucking guys that don't drink coffee. My morning hangover and shame will not be cured by your stupid tea.
If God had a period, it would result in diet faygo redpop
This martini tastes like the bartender stirred it with his foreskin.
I came out of bedroom with my jeans on backwards, zipped AND buttoned. I have inconceivable talents whilst intoxicated.
I remember tearing his shower curtain down but I don't remember trying to shave my vag...
at one point he couldn't find his underwear so he put on my catsuit to go to the bathroom
I hooked up with a guy dressed as Justin Timberlake, while dressed as Britney Spears. Fuck Jessica Biel, all my 90's dreams are coming true.
If it's up to me, I'll already have my pants on and walking out before he gets soft afterward.
Am I really that high, or did I just spray febreeze outside ?
Well as if this year didn't suck enough already, I can now count 2015 as the year I got chlamydia
I think he just shit his pants. Yep he did. That's unfortunate.
Nothing like having a family watch you dry heave at the end of the dock
Randomize