New drinking game: drink every time the guy whose room we are in is creepy
enjoy the hospital
he quoted Bring It On. It's over.
did you know you can prarie-dog a fart??
Its a good thing the lights were off cuz Im pretty sure the look on my face when I touched his penis would have offended him
Just induced vomiting to put out a carpet fire.
Everyone is cheering
Yea. It was an issue. Great time though. Apparently I went through the coat check, put my coat on and forgot I had it so I tried to go through again and just didn't understand why thy weren't helping me. Dave coat checked his pants.
He got naked and made a run for the door so I had to stop him.
You got pulled on stage by a stripper who wore ruffled ankle socks and did jumping jacks for her dance. Then you were put in a chokehold by a security guard that almost cried because you supposedly said "fuck you!" to him.
In other news it turns out I like Heineken.. In a desert island kind of way
Also I owe you 20 bucks, a clean towel and a glass of scotch. I'll even throw in a blow job
oh btw ur so lucky i got stoned and passed out or we sooo would have bedazzled your dick while you slept. just sayin.
Some rando guy literally just put my shoes on and tied them for me because I'm drunk... Is this what it feels like to be a princess?
My ex's new gf is pregnant and he is sterile, so 2016 is starting off well.
he's a mother fucking interior design major!! we boned and fell asleep and now we're laying in bed discussing what color i should paint my room. i'm marrying him
So help me God.... if he sends me a dick pic.... I will make it so he has to eat food through a tube in his nose and poop into a bag by his belly button
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