Rule #1. Nothing comes between you and fantasy sports. Not even a hot chick willing to give you a blow job
Everyone was high fiveing on their a walks of shame home. God im gonna miss college life
well the first picture of me in 2011 involves a viking helmet and chugging champagne. i like this year already.
You love him. Dinosaurs. Math. Sex.
Christ, I really took the slutcake last night.
Wait. Someome brought slutcake?
I need a new pic for your contact id. Because your boobs popping up when I'm having dinner with my grandma or, ya know, when kids have my phone isn't so good.
his finger was half off and he was more concerned that he wasnt at home shooting cucumbers out of his potato gun.
I declared today 'Have a Bloody Mary Naked Day'. Why? Because I'm hungover, thirsty & don't want to bother putting on clothes.
I could fuck to npr.
i mostly like you because you have a nice nose and that's an important trait to pass on to my future children
so an orgy is about to happen in the next room if you wondered where i am currently at in life
There's a 50-50 shot that I will wake up with an ass tattoo tomorrow.
So who left their underwear on a lamppost in my aunt's backyard
I put miralax in my rum/coke. Go hard or go home.
Last night I actually told him I came with a washer and dryer
Randomize
