so on my way home this naked dude runs right in front me his weiner at half mast screaming i'm only doing this cause its a 50 dollar dare
I climb out of my sunroof. I mean its kind of embarrassing but part of me feels awesome and ninja like.
Don't interrupt me, I have a limited time to be high and thus be remarkably good at Pac Man
i think beer pong is the only time ive ever found a use for geometry
the only plus side is that now I'll be able to tell my son not to trust the condoms that his college gives away..........
Miss Michigan hasn't even been Miss USA for 24hrs and already stripper pole pics are surfacing. Classy.
Just realized the fur coat I am wearing to the wedding is the one I had sex with the groom in
If I had a quarter for every time I had sex in your bed while you were out of town, I would probably be a lot more willing to buy you new sheets. Hope you're having a nice vacation.
we made it to hole 3 and then just sat down on the fairway and finished off our case....cheered on other golfers as we let them play through.
there COULD be a gas leak in our house... proceeding to smoke with extreme caution...
Just do let me go home with anyone especially I a guy with a hair sweater
I will show up on your front porch in a wet t shirt and some mac and cheese
Woke up pants less in the vacant apartment across the hall. It was unlocked because they were showing it to someone. When they walked in I woke up and said "this is a great place to live" and walked out
I just found your shirt hanging in a tree 4 blocks from the party...in the opposite direction of your house. where are you going?
Puking out the window is really hard when you're the one driving.
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