I don't think your that much of a whore. your like a whore-let. a mini whore.
Why do guys in porn never have boxers on?
better question: why do you always text me when you're watching porn
he kept refering to his penis as the "eternal sunshine"
i did make 45 jello shots and that makes me feel more productive then any paper would
By the end of the cruise, there was literally nothing in our room he hadn't peed on.
Is there any chance I can see you without pouring vodka on your head?
bleeding from the face, sitting in a shopping cart and holding a wad of ripped caution tape. what else would i be doing?
we used the fire extinguisher you had been cuddling with to decorate the cop car while they were inside arresting everyone
Was having a panic attack, but I'm out of xanax. Substituting with vodka shots and breathing exercises. My therapist will be proud, yes?
yes and no. im drunk but idk if im "blow marcus" drunk. call in like an hour.
No one is allowed to go to bed until all bottles are finished, I don't want to feel my face tongiht. Do you understand?
Can I write your parents a thank-you note for your huge dick?
I just realized that every possible way I walk to campus I walk by the house of someone I slept with
It was so small.
Tiny. Got to love sexting. Imagine finding out the old fashioned way.
just blew him in the library. I am a classy dame
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