your room smells of hookers.
And success
wtf someone played my fucking brickbreaker games and lost i had ten fucking lives. ughhh
maybe you did when you were drunk
no way, i wasn't THAT drunk.
you ran down to the water at 3am and rolled in the sand and ran around screaming that you were the corn dog monster.
don't worry about the poodle she's always like that. she's like 14 years old and ate a bag of weed when she was a puppy.
Stop making all the ice cubes only big enough to fit in your bong. It takes like 3 trays for a glass of ice water
Just saw a porn entitled "Nad Biter". Redheads are now forever out of the picture.
Todays life lesson brought to you by last nights half pitchers of cheap sangria: you'll never get the stain or the SMELL of sangria vomit out of your bedroom carpet.
DONT TALK SHIT ABOUT LUNCHABLES
As I came the Sportcenter app played that "dah nuh nuh" chime. Top ten life highlight?
I have commenced my lesbian college experimentation. Wish me luck
He came inside and met my grandmother after we had sex in the driveway. I love that he has a van.
Yeah! Just remind me to. I'll also bring the blow up penis
YOUR STATE IS STUPID
Did you miss a turn again?
WHAT FUCKING IDIOT DECIDED TO DESIGN AN ENTIRE FUCKING STATE WHERE YOU CAN'T MAKE A FUCKING LEFT TURN?!? FUCK NEW JERSEY
Not sure, she said after cussing out the dentist they called security. Make that the first person I know 86'ed by a dentist.
Did you see her happy birthday to emily on facebook? The gist of it is like: hey emily you almost died at birth im glad you didn't. love mom.
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