why doesnt he love me? i have tried everything. i even sang to him after sex.
you have got to be kidding?
so i told my doctor my symptons and she just shook her head at me
Roller skating + drunkeness + peeing = mess
She volunteers at a homeless shelter. You volunteered to drink 7 day expired milk for $3. No chance. Give up.
He lit his shirt on fire at the bar by putting a lit cigarette in the pocket to "save for later."
A picture just appeared on facebook. I am puking in the toilet, you are next to me puking in the sink. I think we have our christmas card.
You offered me some of your "Jungle Juice." It was just 151 and Absinthe. I don't know how you are still alive.
the gays at disneyland are vicious
are you still mad that doritos made their way into my sex life
.....a litte
I'm just going to eat until there's an actual reason why he wouldn't want to fuck me.
She's riding a bike down the street and drinking brown liquor. A pt cruiser is honking at her and she's like I HEAR YOU!!
I swear to god little potato creatures live inside Belvedere bottles and claw at your throat as you swallow shots.
it's ok my mom asked me why i had a guys shirt on and also why there was chocolate all over my bra
This morning i put band aids over my nipples bc i was too lazy to put on a bra. Think I've reached a new low.
I can't ever look his wife in the eye again. She will see right through my soul to his dick pic.
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