Why don't you ever send me any naked pics
He made a note in his iPhone tonight so that he would remember that I rejected him.
By the grace of god and the ingenuity of Alexander Graham Bell, this text message is made possibe: YOU ARE A WHORE
The cops just drove by on their loudspeaker going DO NOT DRINK THE WATAHH
I love boston
Chasing a shot of svedka with a clementine is NOT the same as tequila w lime...
No i'm not calming down the girl at white castle did not need to see the picture of my dick on your phone.
And we won't even have to pay the tab if we die AT the bar. So..win win.
Do you know how to give stiches?
I do not...this text concerns me
You are like the only girl I know who tells their booty call to go find another girl just cause you want more sleep.
Not much. Some creepy guy on Grindr thinks he knows who I am and where I live. So I sent him to that place with jockstraps and bacon. Hope he has fun.
Two big black bouncers picked you up and escorted you to the elevator.
I didn't even do anything wrong. For all they knew I could have been on the US Olympic Gymnastic team. Would they kick Gabby Douglas out of a bar? I don't think so.
Drake has all the answers
Is there such thing as a tasteful dick pic? I think I just got one if they exist.
Threesomes are not as fun as you'd think. I left with a black eye and I'm not sure who's to blame.
we've talked on the toilet we're linked now
Randomize
