a cemetary is a place for people to rest in peace and you just spermed all over their land
She eyed me up from across the bar and mouthed "I have no gag reflex".
you're the best thing to happen to me. closely followed by learning to ejaculate, and drugs.
thankjk goddddn taco bell uis open htis lateee!
you do know it's eleven in the afternoon, right?
Do you not remember you showing everyone in the bathroom your period stained underwear? I'd say you were pretty happy it came
I think she's perpetually drunk
It's all she knows
Math equation of the day: 4 waffles + 1 bowl of weed = 1 terrific nap
We need to put it on a rope attached to the bong, so it can't be dropped. Apparently, you need a stem safety leash.
foreskin is a definite game changer
Last night I woke up and the national rep of his frat was sucking my toe.
stop sending me battleship coordinates and get back here so i can suck your dick
How the fuck am I supposed to enjoy a third ice day from school if I only bought enough alcohol for 2?
I don't know, maybe act like an adult who teaches children for a living
It's like we're not even friends
Lol for real, I'm Kylie Jenner "this is my year of realizing things" right now
I know you would. And one day, we'll have a moment where i'll verbally assault a stranger for you.
I smell of tequila and Im going to a funeral. This is my life.
Randomize