who the fuck tagged pancake nipples on my profile picture?
I didn't know that people actually queef. Is this a real thing?
I believe so, yes.
Would you be offended if I asked if it has happened to you?
Is it weird I want to fuck the cartoon chick from e-surance??
it was a weeks worth of wine for $20. it would have been fiscally irresponsible to not buy it.
I just got cut off for correcting the bartender's grammar. I should have never accepted that fucking editors position.
apparently drunk me likes to play hide the puke.. was not a fun time washing all my legos.
You tried to call "time out" during the sobriety test.
I will be sticking my dick in something this weekend. You can either be that something or not. Your decision.
I think the worst was the guy who sent me YouTube videos about how age doesn't matter, and then a link for natural breast enhancements. Kill me.
This will always be remembered as the Christmas I had 15 Russians sing christmas carols to me at 130am alone in a gas station while I was stoned on pot brownies
My goal is to be drunk before we even get out of the No Wake Zone.
Just had a customer call his drug dealer in front of me but act like it was normal call.
She's still mad at me for saying she looked pregnant and not getting her chicken nuggets.
I can't tell if my need for dick is more than my want to strangle him
I love random hookups in covid sex. Usually girls think me about a one and a half to a two and a half but now that I got this mask on I'm a Solid 6.
Randomize
