I sent him a picture of my touching myself. He responded back "Your nails look really nice"
What I wanna know is who took a picture eiffel towering her?
Holy mother of cocks. I was grind-with-my-boss drunk last night.
I figured it out. If I have at least 4 shots of vodka before I start my day, EVERY day will be a good day.
Hey, I told her the bathroom was a "No fly zone" after I used it. She willingly allowed her nose to go through that pain. It's her fault, she only supplied me with vodka when she knows I only drink rum.
When the neighbors threatened to call the cops, he yelled at them that American laws didnt apply to him because he was Danish. He then sang his own version of "America fuck yeah" along to daft punk, then fell down the porch steps. Can we keep him?!?!
It turns out my English teacher used to pose for Playboy. She's an inspiration.
just pleasured myself to USA hockey beating Russia in the shoot out. god bless America.
it's gotten to the point where I just look in my closet, think, "which article of clothing behaves most like a towel?" and then just go with that
WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU
MANY MANY THINGS AND MOST OF THEM ARE YOUR FUCKING FAULT
someone just "made it rain" kraft processed sliced cheese. i forgot what it was like to be home...
Your liver needs more exercise - we start training tonight.
I'm sorry, but the bed has won this battle. I got up, changed my shirt, combed my hair, put on some deodorant, and then looked at my bed and got back in
Let the healthy eats/juice cleanse begin. Today is day 1
Have you cleansed yourself of the boy yet?
i know were having a "heart to heart" right now, but does it make you feel uncomfortable that im sexting someone right now?
Randomize
