Is it sad that the only reason I haven't lapsed into depression is that I'm prettier than her?
Nah, we all need something.
She went off on a twilight/new moon tangent before we even got back to my room. i had to jump the ship and pretended to pass out on the sidewalk.
Friends bring friends secret work margaritas. my pink water bottle is in the cupboard
using blue streamers we found on the bathroom floor was probably not the best substitute for toilet paper.
I can't believe that 100lb chick tackled me through a flight of stairs
I'm sneaking you alcohol into a hospital. This either says love or "we have a problem"
NO I FORBID YOU. THERE ARE BETTER VIRGINITIES OUT THERE WORTH KIDNAPPING.
Let's get really high and wear fake mustaches and try not to laugh at each other...
Pretty sure I recall hugging our waiter from the bar last night. That also means we are NEVER going there again
She jumped on a table and took off her shirt and started yelling things that no one understood. For being 3, she has a dead on impression of a drunk party girl.
When are you going to accept the fact he is gay?
Come on... He's just practicing.
Ok. That's acceptable.
I don't know how much expertise I could offer. My best advice is, "don't drown, for god's sake don't drown"
I'm pretty sure the cop knew you were drunk when you tried to light your cigg with a chapstick.
do you think that identical twins have the same size junk? i just want to know your opinion before i find out.
But once you are just right and I work my tongue in the right spots and hot wax your balls and inner thighs. I will have you right where I want you.
Who is this?
Oops wrong number
Randomize
