Operation extremely regretful is in full effect
I really want to sleep with her friend. I'm hoping our casual sex relationship will somehow lead to that.
We aren't going to mix hockey and sex texts tonight.
I totally agree. all sexting is on hold till after the games over.
Playoffs. This shit is serious.
I'm partying with my neighbors right now, and by "with my neighbors" I mean they are partying in their backyard and I'm partying in mine, and by "partying" I mean I'm sitting here alone drinking tequila.
i don't know man, last time i saw her she was applying sunblock to her vagina
Its funny that for once I get home and I'm just as high as my parents are.
You forget how awesome toilet paper is until you have to wipe your ass with a piece of notebook paper...
I woke up naked on my couch playing a video game I thought I had dreamed about... oh yeah, and someone cut my hair.
My mom legitimately hired a private eye on me. DO YOU KNOW HOW EXCITING MY LIFE JUST GOT???
I CAN ONLY BE THE BIRDIE ON YOUR SHOULDER WHO LEADS YOU INTO BAD DESCISIONS
You were a for sure 10. You put on a traffic cone to meet someone.
I wore my Gollum shirt. It struck up a conversation AND got him staring at my boobs. That's a win-win.
So pro tip. do not order drugs from india and then assume you know your tolerance level.
Why do pants feel so unnatural once you enter your own house
Haha do not judge my life style choices right now but me and Dj had sex twice and then he helped me pick an outfit out for my date
Randomize
