Ps there is totally a drug addled prostitute in olympic pizza asking for change for a 100 bill
just woke up and my boobs have "fun police" written on them
She was sucking his dick at Seacrets outside bar in front of all of us...her friends kept coming over crying and yelling "Tiffany stop it"
im pretty sure while i was fucking her my dog was fucking her dog too
oh god was she eating orange peels again
I cleaned out the fridge, had to pound the brews. I am going to be wrecked for my final at 1
If we ever start off with margaritas for breakfast and end up naked covered in olive oil...I could think of worse ways to spend a day.
I'm sooo hungover. I fell asleep on top of a car in a parking lot last night. New one to add to the list.
He stared me down while singing "Let Me Love You" to me while we were having sex. I don't know whether to marry him or file a restraining order.
So you're saying you don't want to be with her anymore because she likes sex to much and is just to hot?
Well when you say it that way it makes me sound like an idiot.
You are an idiot.
A man can only lie in bed watching COPS for so long before he wants to do things that can lead him to starring on the show.
driving home hungover today was like a life test..it was like the goblet of fire
Someone stole a lamp last night.
Yeah that was post sex. I was thinking in my mind, no wonder he didnt ask me to call him daddy since he actually is a dad
Did you put my shoes in the freezer.
Nope. I did however put them in the kiddie pool you pissed in in the living room before Tyler put them in the freezer. Ass hole.
Randomize
