im spending all my christmas money on new years parafanalia aka things I will ingest or lose by the next morning
because whats more american than sleeping with a westpoint cadet on the 4th of july?
I can do it, this is my punishment and I will accept it, plus id like to see the look on peoples faces when I throw up on them
Ive yelled into your vagina. There are few lines we haven't crossed at this point.
congratulations to me i think I am on the road to legitimate alcoholism
cool. same. I'm in class drinking
NOT OKAY
sorry for partying
THATS NOT PARTYING THATS DRINKING IN CLASS
i feel like the 7 eleven by your house knows our deepest, darkest secrets
The walk of shame out of a freshman dorm isn't so bad when you're 25, nobody questions you because they think youre gonna bust them for having weed
I'd rather take 10 virginities than catch something. Right now I should be good, I mean the sex with Jake was so bad he can't possibly have an std
I said "I am wrapped in the Cocoon Of Comfort! You should go." He started to argue and I yelled "COCOON OF COMFORT!!!" silencing him
"There should be some kind of award for sleeping with your ex 9 times in 3 days."
i asked my neighbor to open a bottle of vodka once and then we slept together
If you ever "miss" working, I'm going to fist you with my hulk hands. BOTH of them.
Ick. That's not even the fun kind of punishment.
Be there in 20. Want icecream?
sex. I want sex. I like where your heads at though.
At 10 PM you were shit faced in the kitchen makin nachos... Naked. I wasn't sure what to do besides walk away...
Randomize
